Sexual Intercourse Part 2

DONKEY PUNCH:

The Donkey Punch is when your engaged in anal sex and when your about to ejaculate you punch the poor little lady in the back of the head so her anal cavity tightens making the orgasm all that more better (for you of course.)

E.g. ‘I donkey punched Mary last night, and it was awesome.’

ALLIGATOR FUCKHOUSE:

A daring sexual maneuver: Mid-coitus, one person bites the neck of the other, locks their arms and legs down and goes into a death roll, all while maintaining insertion. Like downshifting a car!

E.g. "Last night Johnny surprised me with an Alligator Fuckhouse, and I came for an hour and a half! I think the bite might have left a scar though..."

CARPET BOMBING:

To pull out right as you cum and squirt your cum all over the girl's pussy and/or pubic area.

E.g. ‘My girl said that she had forgotten to take her birth control, so I just carpet bombed her.’

TEA BAGGING:

The act of putting your balls in and out of a person’s mouth.

E.g. ‘Well if you didn’t sleep with your mouth open I wouldn’t have tea bagged you.’

DIRTY SANCHEZ:

You guys are wrong, it’s when a man and a woman engage in anal sex, and then the man takes his penis and rubs it on the girl’s upper lip leaving a moustache.

E.g. ‘After having anal sex, the man gave the woman a dirty Sanchez.’

BOSTON PANCAKE:

When a lover defecates on another lovers chest. WITH PERMISSION. Then pats down the feces with his buttocks to make it into a flat surface. Then the man ejaculates on the feces which acts as the syrup.

E.g. ‘That guy gave one hell of a Boston pancake to that bitch!’

STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKE:

The action in which the male ejaculates on his partner's face, and then the male punches his partner's nose, which causes blood to stream forth. The semen and blood fluids create a red and white image, just like the icing and filling of a strawberry shortcake.

E.g. ‘I just gave my girlfriend a strawberry shortcake.’

ALABAMA HOT POCKET:

The art of separating the vagina lips and taking a shit inside (and possibly having sex with it afterwards.)

E.g. ‘Shania decided her vagina needed some lube so her boyfriend performed an Alabama hot pocket.’

HOT LIPS HOULAHAN:

Before you have sex with a woman, put Tabasco sauce on the OUTSIDE of the condom, her pussy lips will be on fire in no time. If you want to cool the burn, pull out and hose it down. (This may also work for BJs.)

E.g. ‘My woman is always bragging that she enjoys spicy foods, but she couldn't handle the Hot Lips Houlahan.’

JONA AND THE WHALE:

When a male inserts his erect penis into the mouth of another and then cums in the asshole of the same person. Then that person farts the semen out of the asshole so it looks like a blowhole.

E.g. ‘Jane and Bob went home after a couple of drinks and performed Jona and the Whale.’

RUSTY TROMBONE:

To get rimmed whilst receiving a hearty reach round, thus resembling a trombone player in full chorus.

E.g. ‘Phoebe's rendition on my rusty trombone last night, was so moving, it bought a tear to my eye.’

ALASKAN SNOW BEAST:

The act of a male punching a female/male in the throat after receiving oral sex. This causes the semen to shoot out of the victim's nose in such a way that makes them look like a yeti.

E.g. ‘Last night I gave Jane the old "Alaskan Snowbeast", now we are not on speaking terms, the woman has no sense of humor.’

MAUI MUDSLIDE:

Shitting on a girl’s chest then fucking her, so the shit slides down.

E.g. ‘Maui mudslides are nasty!’

ALASKAN FIREDRAGON:

When a man is just about to ejaculate while receiving oral sex, he pushes down the woman's head, leans in and says something shocking such as "I have herpes." The woman will choke and try to pull back. The man then ejaculates into the back of her throat while she is choking, forcing the semen through her nostrils. This is similar to laughing while drinking milk.

E.g. ‘I gave my girlfriend an Alaskan firedragon last night.’

KING BERNARD:

To either masturbate or have an orgasm so intense it makes you go temporarily blind. The name is based off of a 9th century Italian king who plotted against Emperor Louis the Pious. Having been caught, he was punished by being forcefully blinded.

E.g. "Oh my god I was fooling around with a guy in bed and he King Bernard me for a whole hour."